More attention for less effort
Following what finds me
I was moments away from the ending of a 4 month professional training that included an astounding amount of community building and camraderie. Naturally a nostalgic person, I savored these final moments of togetherness. Right at the closure, our teacher invited us to share final thoughts and as I reflected aloud, I landed on the sentiment: follow what finds you. I take no credit for this pithy phrase but I needed the reminder to Pay Attention™️. Sometimes I work so hard (read: exert a lot of effort) to take care of myself, but some of the best things in my life (1) found me (2) felt right and (3) I simply followed them.
My felt sense of “what finds me” are the things that feel a little magical, a little serendipitous, and the things that capture my attention. Examples may include the book you stumble upon and leave you marveling at how your fingertips landed on that spine. The song lyrics you hear strikingly despite a loud, busy room. I am feeling inspired to conduct a bit of a mindfulness experiment to see if I can look out for these things that find me. Substack feels like a nice home for things that found me and brought me serenity, sweetness, joy, empathy, clarity, or any other warm-fuzzy feeling the last few weeks. I do hope you will share your warm fuzzies with me in the comments, too.
Baby I’m Burnin’ by Dolly Parton.
Found me: featured on the show Hacks
A dear friend and I share songs back and forth with each other. This practice isn’t totally unique to this friendship, however what is unique is that the undercurrent of our sharing contains the message: “I have danced to this song and I am sharing in the hopes you would enjoy dancing to this song, too”. I sent this right away, dancing shortly followed.
A fun reflective prompt to do with friends
Found me: I asked this after feeling struck with wonder at my magnificant beloveds
Sometimes deep conversations happen organically, and other times, you have to cultivate them. Last weekend, myself and three loved ones followed this trailhead: One person sat in a designated seat and was asked to share something they feel they are brilliant at. A gift, a strength, an intelligence, a skill--no rules. Then, the three of us each shared something we felt the person in the hot seat was brilliant at. Then you switch the hot seat until everyone gave/received brilliance.
Wanting: Women Writing about Desire
Found me: in a bookshop in Atlanta
This book of short essays about women wanting has been absolutely captivating me. I have written here before about longing and wanting. These are two emotions are ones that that often find their way towards me. Meandering through the minds and words of brilliant women has touched tender parts of me. They write about love, loss, food, bodies, culture, children, and more.
Couples Therapy on Paramount+
Found me: A recommendation from trusted friends
When I tell you this is my ultimate comfort show: W O W. This show follows psychoanalysis and psychotherapist Dr. Orna Guralnik in her therapeutic work with a small collection of couples. Watching the space Orna facilitates with her clients is so interesting and fills me with hope that we can all be honest, clear, and true to ourselves when we can have safe spaces to explore ourselves. And that we will be witnessed fully for who we are and the parts of us we bring forward. It comes back for season 3 next week.
The Other Significant Others by Rhaina Cohen
Found me: The Audiobook tab on Spotify
I blew throuh this audiobook in a record amount of time; I couldn’t get enough of such a fresh, and yet, familiar take on the depths friendship can take. The book is filled with striking demonstrations of how friendship can be near the, or at the, centerpoint of our life and has sparked great conversations in my life with friends physically near and far to me.
Sometimes, creating a life with my own well-being at the center feels like so much effort. When I am a little tired or a little burned out, you know what I lack? EFFORT!! I want to live a life that I am stopped in my tracks by what I encounter along the way, not always for what I “fought for”. What might it feel like to graciously receive what finds me and welcome that to fill me to the brim with emotion & richness.
I’ll report back soon.
Tell me, what’s found you lately?