A few "rules" I live by to simplify my well-being
Guardrails for my values
We all want our lives to feel a tinge easier.
Somewhat simpler.
Marginally more manageable.
I have a few rules or mantras I live by that help make my well-being more accessible. Some of these rules help make behaviors that negatively impact me harder to do. Others help make good-for-me behaviors easier or help me be more kind to myself along the way.
Rule #1: I do not need to change my clothes or wear sneakers to go on a walk
You know what would happen if I believed I needed to wear sneakers to take a quick after lunch jaunt? I would not walk! Dresses: welcome! Birkenstock’s: welcome! Jeans: welcome! Any and all attire is appropriate for a lovely, break-up-your-day walk.
Rule #2: My phone charger lives in the kitchen and my phone gets plugged there at night
This makes it logistically impossible for me to use my phone in/before bed and also helps to discourage me snoozing my alarm in the morning (this is a work in progress!) I hope to graduate to the level that my phone gets plugged in at 6pm in this spot but I am not there yet.
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Rule #3: I always have staple foods I can use to throw a meal together.
I keep a running list of foods that I want to have around to make a meal at the drop of a hat. Importantly, this list needs to feel easy. Canned tuna, frozen vegetables, a green that lasts a while in the fridge (arugula, cabbage), salad dressings, potatoes, lentils, frozen veggie burgers, frozen chicken tenders, microwavable rice, etc. With this shelf stable-ish collection, I can throw together a weekend lunch without planning ahead of time. This saves money on take-out and helps me feed my body with care and ease.
Anatomy of a dietitian's fridge
On any given week, a peek into my fridge will look very different. Ingredients for meals will change with the season and how much time I have for cooking that week. But all foods that cross the fridge threshold have a purpose and today I will introduce you to a key question to help make your food life easier:
Rule #4: I do not have social media apps on my phone
I am very strict with this. For many years, I accessed accounts via the phone browser but I also stopped this habit earlier this year. I don’t have the passwords committed to memory so I literally can’t log in (time limits didn’t work for me & trust me I would log in if I knew them). I hoped this would totally transform my relationship with my phone but notably, my screen time has not decreased much. I still find ways to distract myself on my phone but at least it’s not on apps that exploit my attention (I do still have access to these accounts on desktop!).
Rule #5: I give myself many options
I don’t believe in restriction around food; I know that permission to eat is what frees us and actually guides us to our preferences. These options empower us to truly investigate and understand what we want. I keep numerous options in my house: multiple hot beverages I like, multiple treats I like, a few books I am excited to read, multiple movement options, a selection of relaxing activities, or an extra of a go-to product so I don’t have to live without it!
Rule #6: I try to not make it about me
If I don’t follow through with a well-being related behavior, I am not unkind to myself. I don’t shame myself. I don’t say mean things. I don’t attack my character. If an unkindness sneaks through, I try to repeat it out loud, sense how “off” it feels, and perform a little “do over” with myself.
Rule #7: I know where I am in my cycle
This knowledge helps me contextualize the sometimes intense or confusing body experiences I am having. Recently, for example, I really couldn’t calm myself down and I felt my stress levels sky high. When I noted where I was in my cycle, I felt a teensie release of pressure, “Ah, of course this is hard for you today; take a rest. Have lunch. Drink water".
Rule #8: Comfort guides me
I am mindful of my body’s physical comfort preferences and let them guide my environment. I ensure I am comfortable in the temperature of the space I am in (I’m cold in a warm breeze). I wear comfortable undergarments that are the right size (this is huge; please go get a proper bra fitting.). I only use warm, soft lighting in my home. I only wear comfortable clothing and shoes. I keep my surroundings quiet. I let my body lay when it asks to and I will make accommodations, if possible, to allow my body to be more physically comfortable. Its astonishing how much easier life is when your body is not distracting you with discomfort or pain. *A little note: pain happens and chronic pain conditions exist. Of course, we cannot terminate pain or discomfort from out life! But I will do what I can to have greatest access to comfort that I am able to provide myself.
As you can see, these aren’t entirely “RULES”, but rather, guidelines I have in place to help keep me on track with what is important to me. These help me feeling soothed, calm, nourished, and kind. Some of these have come to be through discomfort, like too much scrolling, while others have been driven by my commitment to tending to myself with care and compassion. Frankly, these are the rules that are useful to me which leads me to my final rule:
Rule# 9: Banish rules that are not *hyperspecific* to you!
If it feels right, take a moment to note the rhythms, habits or routines that help you feel like *you*. If you had to boil down the wisdom of your life to simple “rules”, what would yours be?
Send me my 10th rule, please!
I would be so delighted if you shared yours with me below :)
Rule #10 - I am learning to hesitate and graciously say no to any kind of invite that doesn’t resonate with me.